Funny.

I don't know why I find this so funny. Its a fox. A ninja fox.... Hehe.

But these things pop up...

Usually whenever I hear somthing or go through a stage or somthing happens I get an image. Its very odd. For example when I was little and when I laughed so hard and so long that it felt like I ran out of laughs, it would remind me of an endless white fence. And when I was very little probably around 4 or 5, I am not sure what happened I may have fallen asleep or blanked out or went deep in thought but all these images and visions flashed through my mind. It was all deju vu and some of those visions happened a few years later. Sometimes things happen and I remember it and it feels like I have seen it before.
But I know I haven't. I find this very interesting. And it all happened back then. It seems like everything was created then.
Sometimes I forget what thought or situation matches the image then I have the situation and the image comes.
I have no idea if this is just me if its fate or everyone has this. But I get alot out of it. It seems to keep me sane.
Maybe its the only thing keeping me sane. But I just remember shutting my eyes and all this flashed through my head.
How did I do that? Then again I highly doubt I did it. It seems amazing. Then a few nights ago I had this dream and I wonder if it even was a dream. I think I entered someone elses body. I was living someone elses life I remember her small room on the edge of her house and looking out the window and seeing cars go by on the highway. I know this life was not mine. I do not know where this person lives. I am sure that this person is really out there in the world. It was like I was self projecting. When the soul leaves the body. It seems amazing, I must have been there a while because I remember going to bed and choosing clothes from the wardrobe and it was all different. I remember wearing a black shirt that was crochet with a black tank top underneath and jeans with sma dimond studs going down one leg. The room walls were painted red and she had a coat rack with hats and purses covering it. They were all spunky and different. I also remember wearing a lime green sparkly top. She seemed to have a funky sort of style. Laundry covered all sides of the small room. The bed had really pale white green sheets and white and red
pillow covers and randomly colored quilts. the room was small and oddly shaped and had windows on all the sides.
It seemed very mysterious. I remember looking in to the mirror a few times and seeing a girl with brown hair and brown eyes her hair was long and her face held a frown I wonder why I was frowning. I think she is really out there now, alive.
Last year I studied First Nations and the Navajo's. The Navajo's believe in self projecting any of the medicine men can do it and people can be gifted with it. It is when the soul leaves the body. I may have done it once. Or it was just a dream. But I do not want to think of it again. If by any chance I did self project I do not wish to let myself at it again.

Contest

Well, for a fact I don't know if I want to enter this contest. The orthodox youth is having a writting/arts contest.
My Mom says I should enter. But I don't know if I should. I know I probably won't win. I am not a very talented person.
But I would like to get others opinions on this.

This

This day. And these words I have spoken are now part of me and who I am.
They stick like bread dipped in ocean. And bite like a cold wave after jumping in.
I do not know what comes on the path before me. And what lies by my feet when I am in bed.
Someone could be watching me waiting to take my life away. It makes sense. But not enough. In every area or state I am in my life there is a feeling that I have sometimes in my mind and sometimes in my stomach. Sometimes its joyful or sometimes its melancholy. When I feel the earth has been swept beneath my feet I wish I could be someone else. But I can't. We are stuck with what comes out.

My Sanity

Today, started out like your typical Saturday. I woke up at 11 and turned on the radio. And after forcing myself to get out of bed, at last; I spat my hair out of my face and let the day soak in, let my body sink in to the mattress one more time I got up. I went over and put my house coat on wraping the belt in a tight knot I left my room went in to the kitchen to snag a peice of cake and milk. Good breakfast. Got eggs in it ;). After that I left my plate up by the sink and left the kitchen. I got myself ready for the day; Shower, running a comb through hair, wash face etc. Next I went to the sunroom and turned on the fire place. I then watched a movie with Luke and went on the computer. Then Mom came home and we went to a dance show at my school and I met up with some friends and I sat with them. And we laughed and had a great time. Then I we walked home and here I am sitting her typing...

A

A short post full of wisdom is better than a post long and full of gray.
And seeing your letters apear on the page instead of constantly trying and seeing nothing form. Frustration.
And looking in to the mirror and seeing that your hair hardly tangled at all durning the night is better than waking up and running your hand through your hair and feeling your hand stop in an instant and a hard pull on your hair.
And clicking the mouse on your computer and having it go right to the website you wanted is better than waiting for what seems like hours for it to go to the site.
And being covered in friends is better than be shuved off in to the sidelines wishing a bus would come and pick you up.
And jumping in to a lake and taking your sweet time to come up is better than dropping and feeling suck to the bottom.

RED

Whats does one do??

What does one do when they feel as though 2 evil walls are caveing in upon them. What does one do when their heart feels its going to gush out in pain. What does one do when tears are running down their face and you can't think clearly, nor see.
Whats does one do when their eyes hurt so much from been burnt with water. What does one do when their face is sticky and stained with tears.

There is no real answer to this, except; Believe.

take a deep breath

There is always someone there for us. Even if they are gone. And you can't see them. There is always someone there for us. Always. God may be in heaven, the kingdom above. But he is always there for us. You can't know without trying. You always have someone by your side, even if they're not by your side. Sort of like if you want a thought but then you may not want to want to have that thought. That person that is always by your side is Christ. He is our deep breath. When we breath in a deep breath we should be breathing knowledge and relaxation, calmness and beauty. Grace will always be with us, by our side.
When we breath we breath in bits of him. He is inside us. Healing and forgiving us. He is the one who makes the sun pour in to your room. And the one who makes the heavenly rain fall.
The one who is always there for us, even if you can't see it.
Take a breath right now and try.









He is.

a bubble

Gum:
Pink, round, cute, puffed. Floating in it own pretty way till it deflates.

B Bath:

Shinny, has its own glass of color. Everyone of those shimmys has its own shin and shim.


Balloon:

Jumpy. Very strong. Has a bold color and seems to stretch as far as life can take it.


sauce when is boils:

Glumpy, mashy, steaming. A bubble of taste. floats around ready to be consumed


chocolate:

hmm hmm! Yummyness before your eyes! glosty smashing popping right there. Makes you feel eager.

timers

Sometimes, sometimes things just happen slowly. And sometimes things happen fast as the beat of my heart thumps in your ear. As you pound hard on the ground with your feet as you run in a race time passes. If you are walking home and then you decide to go another way your life changed just then; if you went another way you could have had a whole different experience. Your life could have been different in that time. Yes, time is a awkward thing, we know that its movin and groovin and we can't keep up with it. It's too good a dancer to compete with. The air rings above us as time flys...

pure

As it glugs...

As the sun dropped down on Madi and I as we walked outside. During our break for lunch. Outside. Madi and I. Sun glugging down. Mooing upon us. I looked over at Madi and her face was obviously made of pure gold drops. The wind brushed past us cointaining twinkles of shine. The drops of gold on the caked dirt on the ground reminded me of mustard on burnt toast. THe sun glowed on us and kept us warm under its golden and soft blanket.

You can't give up...

You can't give up no matter how hard the world is crushing you between the rocks in the earth. Or how much the devil is knocking you down. Or how many times you want to kill. Or when you have such a dry throat you are suprised you are still alive and then you think God is saving me! God is watching over me. He always shall.. He always will.. He always is..
And you can't take it for granted even when you feel plum delightful and you are sitting by the fire reading the best book ever.
Or if you were in bed and sinking in to your matress and having the good reminder of: I don't have to get up till 3 if I want surounding you. You must keep your head straight and watch what is before you. But we know god it up there too...

Watching

For My Father

4 jobs:

1. A Student Of THe Langley Fine Arts School. Been one since Gr.1.

2. Picking up the dogs poo ;). Not pleasant.

3.Being good to the people I love. Which, pray for me; I am not the best at always.

4.Pretending...

4 movies I could watch over and over...

1. The Lord Of The Rings 1, 2, 3..
2. Charade
3. Napolean Dynimate
4. The Perfect Man

4 places i've lived:

1. Walnut Grove: Town House. Many awful dreams about dying there. Odd.
2. Walnut Grove: House House. Yes, The house house. MAny kids were there. Many. Yet, they just didn't except me.
3. I would have to say No Comment.
!
4. Fort Langley: Gorgeous. As my Dad said; Groovey.



4 albums:

1. Fiest (Sarah Harmer)
2. Sarah Harmer (You were here)
3. The Beatles
4. Nelly Fortardo
+ Many more...


4 fiction writers:

1. Judy Blume (sticks with the soul. All of her books)
2. C.S Lewis (Have to agree with Dad on this one:).)
3. Beverly Clearly (I quite enjoyed some of her books)
4. All of the traveling pants books!

4 poets:

I have read lots of poetry. But I can not name any of the poets I have read.

4 Playwriters:

Again Can't recall...


4 non-fiction writers:

Well;

The National Geographic Magazines. Maybe not a writer, yet there are many great stories in those that are non-fiction... Right?

Diary Of Ann Frank

The Dictionary

The Bible


4 heroes:

1. Jesus Christ
2. A Friend
3. Thought
4. Frodo and Sam

4 vacations:

1. Disney World 2004.

2.Echo Lake ( Wonder if The Dog was NAmed after it..)

3.Chaunagen LAke.

4. St. Arseny's Summer Camp

4 foods:

1. Meat Loaf

2. Speg ;)

3. Sausages From the Fort Langley Bakery

4. Chinese Food

4 places i'd rather be:

1. In Bed
2. Running
3. Alone
4. hanging out with friends

4 sites:

1. badgerbadgerbadger.com
2. JKrowling.com
3. Blogger.com ;) ;)
4. photobucket.com

4 bloggers to whom i'm passing this burden:

1. Ave
2. Mag
3. Gabe
4. Myn

When you have nothing to do sip peach juice

Wise advice?
I think so. In fact I am sipping peach juice right now. Not much of any information, but I do think it is very powerful; sipping peach juice, hmm. Brings beautiful thoughts :) mmm. I like having a spinning head. When I have nothing to do I like to let my mind spin and spin while I am consuming peach juice. Spinning. I have many thoughts. I think its amazing how everyone in this world has worries and thoughts and loved ones of their own. I like that alot. More than I like peach juice. The fruity colorful flavorful liquid bounces down my throat. Sort of feels like I am throwing myself in to an ocean. Apples are fun too. They are a fun fruit. I have so many reasons why, that I don't have any reasons at all. When I was little and Mom and I would go to chapters I would always like to touch the pink, smooth, heavy books. I still like the idea of them. That reminds me of peachs too. I have always thought of peachs to be spunky and fresh, fluffy at times. Then again they are a graceful fruit; which sounds very odd. A graceful fruit. hmm. Beautiful, spunky... Peaches. Fruit.

don't leave me...

She might leave me. I don't want her to.
It's Avery's birthday today. I am so happy for her. But it makes me sad.
I can't believe it. 13. No. It feels for me the trees are growing and i'm just the pond staying there. bubbling away.
Shr's growing up. I'm not. It feels so much like that some times. And it makes me cry. I feel awful when I do. Cause its so happy that she is growing up. I'd miss her by my side if she took off so far. It went from this:

4-6: We were always together. We would stay up till 2 when we were at each others house's. The New Years party that year we had a contest; whoever statyed up the latest won. We would keep ourselfs awake till talking about barbies *grin*. Ave won. =D

7-9= She would always have funny stories to tell. She would always keep me laughing and still does. She was almost perfect. No one is perfect. But it seemed like it. She is beautiful, Smart, Funny.


10-12= Always was there for me. I knew I could tell her anything. She was huggable and laughable. Still is. We talked and talked. We would goof off. We went through mess ups. And parties. Hard things, sad things, happy things.



I don't want to loose her.

To be a princess

When I was... Well every girl goes through the stage where she wants to be a princess more than anything else. Beautiful, Charming, and the long dresses. I used to always want to wear a dress and fancy shoes. Yep that was me. Not just me every little girl I know goes through that stage. Just like everyone goes through the cootie stage ;). You wanted to dance wear skirts and twirl and swirl. Have long cozy hair. And be a princess. Just be a princess. Twinkley eyed and bouncy personallity she is already her own princess inside she just can't see it. Then you grow a bit older and are not as graceful anymore. You like to wear dresses still but they get in the way with rolling in the mud. So you ditch the gowns and the princess that you were dreaming of and move on to pants, pink sweats and children's yoga pants. Then sweats aren't cool anymore when you hit middle school and you wear jeans and slacks and all the other pants you can think of, (still yoga and sweats do stick to the soul;). Yes it changes and the princess changes. But as soon as you choose your princess she'll always be there for you and look out for you, and accept you in every way.


No matter what you wear.

gym

I love gym.
And I love my big, huge gym class, so many people. Every class at gym we have to start at different bases and then we one of the instructors shouts out a counts down while we prepare are last preparations. And then we shoot out among the gym pounding the floor with our runners and bluring the room with our shorts. Each time we get to our starting point we grab a stick. That stands for a lap around the huge gym. When time is up you count out you sticks and you find out how many laps you ran. Today I did 15 laps. I hope to do more next time, thats not nearly enough for me, I know next time I can do more. I started out with 10 then I moved up to 11 and now I am 15! Yay! I was very proud but some people didn't believe me. But I know I did it.

Black

Why is that color so unlikeable?
I love that color in fact its my favorite color to wear. I'm no goth. But I do like darker colors, only because I hate drawing attention to myself. Black for a fact is a very nice color, there are many nice things that are blacl let me name a few;
The beautiful midnight sky, cozy cotton and wool sweaters, black kittens, black slacks, coffee without cream, dogs wet noses.And much much more! But black can be a scary color too, well, a unlikeable color anyway. But I don't even want to name things that are black unlikeable things cause most of those things are signs for evil. Lots of goths used to go to my school but all of them graduated. Which is odd it was like a whole grade of goths. I can't think of why people would want black lipstick but thats what they want, thats what they do.

9 days

Gosh only 9 more days till Avery Jordan's Birthday. She was born on the 29th of Janurary. I was born on the 29th also but in a different month. I believe Jonah is celebrating his birthday tonight as I type. Avery said she may not be having a party once again since her grades are not quite improved yet. She is disapointed about that, as she had to cancel her party last year. Well I just want to let everyone know, Ave's birthday is coming up.

Just be..

Just be who you think you are and maybe, just maybe, you might be excepted..